I’ve been involved with the whole Stress and Trauma management field for nearly 30 years now, from the safe streets of New Zealand to the disturbing fields of Cambodia and the scary alley’s of Kabul. The focus of my work has been on assisting humanitarian workers get through some pretty complex and frightening contexts. I’ve written books, run workshops, rushed to wars and earthquakes, spent endless hours in airplanes and 4x4’s on dirt tracks.  

At the beginning it was all about stress reduction and avoidance of psychological trauma. Stress was seen as ‘problem’ to be both solved and mitigated. Totally unsurprisingly this approach was almost universally rejected, either actively or passively, by experienced field workers. Some psychologists nodded wisely and talked of Freudian denial processes.  

They were so wrong.

Stress management field practitioners quickly appreciated what front line staff in any complex context know - stress is not just part of the ‘job’, stress is part of what makes the job attractive and worthwhile. But other, desk bound psychologists nodded, again, wisely, and talked of ‘addictive personalities’, war junkies and adrenaline seekers. The result being that Humanitarian workers who knew their job tried to hide from the increasing number of adolescent psychologists employed by Aid Agencies to ‘cure’ their ‘sick’ staff. 

They were so wrong. 

I’m not saying that wars, famines and earthquakes are merely a stroll in the park. Far from it. I’ve lost good friends in wars and seen others psychologically damaged by what they have experienced, seen and heard. But I’ve also broken bones, torn ligaments, had dengue fever and have bad dreams and yet I still enjoy walking, living in the tropics, working in conflict zones and going to bed to sleep.

Life has stress. Life is stress. 

The psychological treatment frame then shifted from ‘cure’ to ‘balance’. Be busy, they said, but take time to be not busy. ‘Balance’ time on the front line with time refreshing. Balance the adrenaline with the soporific. Take uppers and then balance with downers. Spend 72 hours in a refugee camp and ‘balance’ that with 3 hours of meditation.  

The underlying message became something like; ‘we know you are an addict, just don’t overdose!’

They are so wrong.

Nothing is affirming as putting everything into it. Nothing thrives like focussed energy coursing through action and activity. Nothing lives that is not fizzing and bubbling. Everything moves. Right down to the atomic level everything is moving. Sub-atomic particles vibrate. Quantum waves (or particles, or whatever they are) can be in two places at once and jump instantly between them. The universe is constantly expanding. There is ‘slow life’, like sea sponges and such, but they are always moving.

If we want a cup of coffee we don’t want the water to be in a state of ‘balance’ between hot and cold. We want it boiling. Otherwise the coffee tastes like crap. So boiling water turns into steam? So what? It’s still water.

Resilience is not a state of ‘balance’. Resilience is a state of thriving. Which means it is an energetic, moving and changing state. Yes, there is a risk it falls apart. And boiling water burns. If the healthy person is on an epic journey towards ‘balance’, then, please, shoot me now!. 

In my present life I focus on building a Resilience Profile that maximises thriving. This will be energetic, diverse, stimulating, scary and mobile. Instead of balance I seek wisdom. Seeking is proactive. Balance seems boring.

Don’t get me wrong. I love quiet evenings on the beach. I love the stillness of mountains and the soft caress of another hand. But I don’t seek these things for ‘balance’. I seek these for life.